Graze the Green Grasses
by Jonesn
Summary: In all my life, I will never know why I agreed to this. *Complete Crack Fic*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

******Yeah.. I don't know what I'm doing, but city girls, gay best friends, cowboys and cows.. I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.**_****** ; )**_

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Nah, groomin' ya'll's horse is the first, and most important step in preppin' for ya'll's ride. The horse always comes first, just y'all be rememberin', and everythin' else'll pan itself out."

Picking up a bristled, wooden brush, _The Duke_ -which we were specifically instructed to call him- demonstrates the swift, front to back motion, noisily making his way around the shiny, black stallion; the tink of his rusted, old spurs jangles with every heavy step.

_People really wear spurs?_

"I love those chaps, and Grandpa's wearin'em like he's doin'em a favor." Giving snaps to the chaps, Mike eyes The Duke's backside, and I just send my praise to Jesus that he's rocking the Levi's underneath.

"Nah, ya'll want ta approach the horse from the left, and mind the hind legs, we ain't got no time for no trips ta the local clinic."

_Clinic?_

_As in no hospital?_

_Did I hear that right?_

Bumping my shoulder, Mike points to a bent over Duke, and I roll my eyes, pushing him away as I try to pay attention to the many steps of the saddling procedure.

This was some seriously technical shit.

In throwing the saddle on to the beautiful beast's strong back, the prized animal raises its regal head, neighing, shaking out the long, flowing mane of ebon hair.

Scuffing the ground, it huffs, stirring up the dusty dirt, stepping from back to front, side to side, fighting the urge to run.

"Aight nah, who wants ta give it a go?"

* * *

**You in? Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Checking my hip, Mike scratches his brow, whispering on the sly. "I'll tell ya what I'd like to give a go."

Snickering, I pinch the underside of his skinny arm. "Stop it.. Have you gained weight?" I tease, squeezing none existent arm fat, earning a tilted look, and a rough push.

"Bella does! Bella wants to give it a go!" Mike's loud mouth volunteers me, and before I know it, The Dukes got me by the elbow, pulling me towards the menacing mare.

_Wait.. not mare, this one has balls._

_Big ones._

Slightly intimidated, I look over my shoulder, shooting my ex-best friend the wishful glare of a slow, painful death, and he flips me off, mouthing a sentimental endearment.

'_Bitch.'_

Turning back, I let The Duke lead me up to the loosely tamed animal, wondering how I even got here in the first place.

Dropping the bristled brush in my hand, he stands closely behind me, but not too close, encouraging my unsure strokes.

My heart starts to calm with every sweeping motion. With every passing piece of short, black hair, I begin to feel at ease until a sudden snort startles, making me jump back, and straight into ready, steadying arms.

"Whoa there lil'lady, he's just sayin' a hello-howdy. Go on nah, pet'is muzzle, go on." Duke nudges, and I hesitantly step closer, not exactly sure which part I'm supposed to pet.

"I'm sorry, his what?"

Letting out a loud guffaw, Duke holds the center of his stomach. "His nose, darlin'; his nose!"

To my embarrassment, he practically shouts, grabbing my limp wrist, and placing my hand where he wants it.

I try to pull away as it steps closer; pushing into the palm of my hand, but Duke holds me strong, and still.

"I'm thinkin' somebody could use a smidgen'a white lightnin'; 'ey there, lil darlin'?" The Duke jokes, and it all comes rushing back.

Why I'm here.

Why I'm doing this.

It was my twenty-fifth birthday, and I had gotten stupid on a hefty dose of Moonshine that Mike's cousin had imported from some backwoods still in Deliverance.

The town; not the movie.

Although it may as well have been.

Damn, that shit caused some wreckage; a deep-sitting, not-so-secret shame that will eventually have to be dealt with.

Yeah, I remember now.

Shit-faced, and shirtless, I straddled the arm of the God-awful, pineapple-print couch. I vaguely recall whinnying like a horse; I may have bounced up and down like I was riding one; I definitely did not spread my legs, asking Mike's cousin to please brush my curly mane.

Clad in a miss-matched bra and panties, I sadly did however, beg and plead with Mike to do this for me; to book this trip.

If I knew Moonshine caused delusions of pony grandeur, I would have just said no.

No.

No.

No.

And when I woke two days later, I did.

Repeatedly.

_What was I thinking?_

In all my life, I will never know why I soberly agreed to this.

Accompanying an unpredictable herd of wandering cows across the open, Colorado range wasn't exactly my definition of a good time.

Chihuahuas.

They were my kind of animal; small, mainly; would look adorable peeking out of my oversized, Prada knock-off.

This; him, not so much.

He wouldn't even fit.

"Tell ya what, lil'missy, ya'll's gonna take a break tonight; partake in'a lil home-brewed hooch. By sunset my boys'll be moseyin' on in, and come sunrise they'll do ya what for, yep, if anyone's gonna get ya up on this here horse, it's one'a my boys."

* * *

*grins and nods* Yep, that just happened. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"I can't figure out if he's cruising or just tapping to the beat." Mike purses, titling his head to the side, and I follow his narrowed stare.

"Who?"

Scoffing, he aims his '_bitch,_ _are you serious?' _face towards me, and I shrug, gnawing on the end of my jerky.

_Mmm, jerky._

"Duke.. that's who. He's been sending me the signal all day."

Swallowing the tough, dried deliciousness, I sneak another peek through the rising flames, taking a sip of my water.

No way in hell was I touching that special steed sauce.

Nope.

Nuh-uh.

Not gonna happen.

"I'm pretty sure that's just his lazy eye."

Leaning back against the jagged slab of wood, Mike whines. "Really, ya think?"

I nod. "Yeah, definitely. Isn't he married?"

"Not like it really matters." Shrugging, Mike gulps the fuel with the power to turn a gay man straight, and I cringe, remembering when it did.

"I swear to God, Mike, if you come anywhere near this ass." I warn, not even joking a little bit.

"Calm your saddlebags, your ass is safe. _His_ ass however.." Mike stops, giving a pointed look, and I follow his stare once more, sucking in, choking on that last bite of jerky.

_Damn._

"Shit Bella, you're losin' your touch." Patting my back, Mike jokes, making me cough louder, and longer.

I refuse to look back up until I have this under control, and once I do, I come eye to eye with a flickering, green flame.

* * *

:D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Now, I'm no stranger to lust at first sight.

I've had my fair share of the double takes, the mouth drops, the stomach flips.

I once went out of my way to follow a guy for three city blocks before finding a cuter one, turning around, and following him because he was headed in the opposite direction.

Imagine my confusion when I followed him all the way up to our apartment door, only to discover he batted specifically for Mike's team.

Yeah, my gaydar was for shit, but I could still appreciate a pretty face when I saw one, and this was a pretty face.

"Back off bitch, he's mine." Mike mumbles, bumping the hunch out of my shoulder, and I straighten, pulling my eyes from the glimmering green, lush, full lips, and cutting jaw line.

_Ouch! _

"Ya think?"

Mike scoffs. "Uh yeah, he's just too pretty."

Sighing, I lean back; internally pouting, watching green eyes slowly chew.

The fire flares with the blow of a poker, heating my cheeks, the tip of my nose.

Fire fairies float up, up, and out fading into the dark, starlit night.

His lips shine through the flames from a lick of his quick tongue.

"I wanna be that piece of straw." Mike fawns, and I nod.

"Mmm-hm."

"Aight nah, lisn'up!" Duke shouts a slur; he shlurts, and my heart jumps; head snaps in his direction, but my minds still on his son's shiny lips.

"Nah, ma boys jus'got in, ann's'too late, ann'm'too crock'd fer inductions."

_Inductions?_

Turning to each other, Mike and I share the same questioning look; realization hitting at the same time.

_Ohh.. introductions._

Standing on wobbly legs, Duke's spurs jingle as he stumbles past, patting ol' green eyes on the shoulder.

Mike excitedly nudges, as we watch him undo his pants, and clearly pull out, peeing on the side of the big, red barn.

Our gaze zones in on the stream; his ass, as he buckles up; it follows as he sloppily moseys back by, patting ol' green eyes on the shoulder again, but this time with a piss covered hand.

_Ew!_

"Time'ta turn'in."

* * *

Duke is so my dad, minus the spurs. He'd never wear spurs.. chaps, maybe. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Colorado mornings are crisp; cool in the shade of a branching Sycamore tree; cozy in the rays of the shining, summer sun.

It's beautiful really.

Really beautiful.

Walking up behind me, Mike throws a heavy arm over my sweater covered shoulders. "I'm never drinking again."

"Mm-hmm.."

Resting his head in the crook of my neck, he nuzzles, most likely still drunk. "I mean it."

"Yeah, sure."

Whining, he mumbles against me. "You seen Lethal Weapon yet today?" Like it's the most casual thing to ask, like it's something I just do on a regular basis.

_Yep, still drunk, this one._

"When would I have watched Letha Weapon?" I ask, and he laughs.. loudly.

Turning my gaze from the snow covered peaks, I give him the best pointed, bitch brow I can muster.

That hurt my fucking ear.

"Not the movie, you dumb-shit, the cowboy."

_Dumb-shit?_

He re-nicknames Ol' Green Eyes, Lethal Weapon, and _I'm_ the dumb-shit?

"Lethal Weapon?.. Really?"

"Yeah." Smirking, he lifts his head, nodding toward the stables, and I follow his gaze, catching a flash of messy, copper hair. "That jaw could cut a bitch."

Leaning into him, I silently shake, slipping a snort against his chest.

_Lethal Weapon._

_Ha!_

"Lil' darlin'!" Duke shouts, and I straighten.

Coughing, clearing my throat, I push Mike off me, and out of my way, quickly making the trek across the loose dirt, and scattered patches of dead grass, and up to the darkened stables.

Stopping in my tracks, I watch as Green Eyes bends at the waist, straining the round backside of his tight fitting Wrangler's; lacing up the tall, brown leather of his scuffed, riding boots.

_Oh my hell_.

"There ya are lil' darlin'! Come on in!" Duke motions, and I step just inside the door. "This-here's my boy Edward." He introduces, slapping a hand on Ol' Green Eyes, I mean Edward's bent back.

_Edward._

_Interesting._

_Different._

_I like it._

"He's gon'get'chu up on that-there horse."

* * *

Wooo boy.. Wranglers. *nods* Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

As Edward stands, I pout; missing the pleasant stretch of his dusty, jean covered backside.

He forgoes the chaps, and I'm not sure if I'm disappointed, or relieved. I wasn't exactly a fan like Mike, but I get the feeling if anyone could turn that around it would be him.

"I'm-a leave yawns to it. Gots'portant bidness needs tendin'."

_What?!_

Tapping the rim of his hat, Duke steps out, and I'm left alone with his son who I'm hoping can form a complete, and coherent sentence.

"C'mere."

So much for hoping.

As I slowly walk over, he reaches for his beat up, black Stetson, placing it on his head, adjusting it low.

"Take this here." He hands me a leather strap that's connected to the horses head, and I hesitate.

Quirking a thick brow, he grabs my hand. Placing it in my palm, he closes my tingling fingers around it.

_What the hell was that?_

"You two need ta get use-ta each other." He says with a slight southern drawl, taking my other just-as-tingling hand, placing it above the horse's nose. His front touches my back, tingles as we stroke at the soft, fine fur.

"Feel that?" He breathes, blowing hot breath against the tiny hairs at the nape of my neck.

The heat shoots straight between my thighs.

"He likes you."

* * *

Oh, does he now?.. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

My mind runs rampant as his other hand, the one that's placed lightly on my waist, lowers; slides down to cradle the buffered bone of my hip.

He softly squeezes.

Is he talking about little lethal weapon, or the horse?

_Hmm.._

"You ready for this?" His draw brings me back, back from the deep, dangerous pit of my dirty, dirty mind, and I find myself leaning into him, slightly rubbing the area in question.

_Shit!_

Now I'm wondering the same thing all over again.

"Uh.. I guess." I say, probably meaning it either way. I would absolutely let him bend me over, rip an opening in my worn-thin Luckys, and buck me like Blackie here.

Why not?

It's been ages.

And, for once I just want to bone someone better looking than any one of Mike's pretty conquests; only if just to say _nana-nana-na-na, in. your. face!_

"It's gonna be rough."

Bring it on.

"Probably bruise the underside of your pretty, little ass."

Even better.

Wait..

_Did he just call my ass pretty?_

Clearing my throat, I straighten my shoulders, sadly pulling away from the fitting form of his hips. "It should be fine. I've had my fair share of ass beatings, and I don't bruise that ea-si-ly.." I realize what I said about as soon as I blurt it out of my equally dirty, dirty mouth, and I close my curious eyes as his fingers dig down into docile denim; never chancing a look, not even when he lets go.

"Well then, let's get-along there." He grumbles, roughly patting the torn pocket of my always-in-the-way jeans.

"I ain't got all day."

* * *

I think this Bella's clumsiness will pertain to her mouth, and okay, okay, maybe a little bit of bad footing.. She has to fall into his capable, cowboy arms at some point or other. I mean, come on. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Walking out of the stables, I hold on tight to _these-here are Goddamn reins_, as Edward so hotly corrected after I mistakenly called it a leash.

So kill me for not knowing the lingo.

Geesh, how he could run so, very hot and bitingly cold, I'll never know.

Seeing Mike, I wave, pointing to Edward's turned backside and then at him.

I shake my head.

And when he gives me the open-armed '_bitch, what are you talking about'_ stance, I play it out; pointing back at Edward, then pointing back to him, I poke my two pointer fingers together.

Boink-a-boink-a-boink-boink-boink.

I shake my head.

'_I don't think he's gay!' _I mouth, pointing back at Edward, then pointing to myself. I play it out; curling the fingers of one hand in a circle, and poking through it with what's supposed to be his dick, if you haven't already caught on.

I drop my dirty, dirty hands before Edward's fully turned to face me.

"Slide your left foot up in here." He points, referring to the dangling triangle that's hanging from the secure saddle. And when I hesitate, he grabs the underside of my knee, raising my foot off the ground, and I grab hold of his broad shoulders for balance as he nestles it in place.

His hand softly palms the back of my hitched thigh, holding me steady as he pries my arms from around his tanned neck, and places my hands on the horse. "Grab that there knob on the saddle." He orders, and I do, giggling because he said knob, then yelping as he roughly pushes my backside, helping my leg over the girth of the horse.

He continues to touch my ankle, dipping his fingers down into the top of my riding boot, running them as far up as the back of my knee as Blackie trots, and he walks, never leaving my side.

As we pass Mike, I send him a smile, and cheeky wink, pointing down at Edward, as I mouth what he's obviously already figured out from the pathetic pout of his bottom lip.

'_Not gay.'_

* * *

So.. were the hand gestures completely ridics, or what? lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"So, you gonna hit that?" Mike asks, a little louder than a whisper, and my eyes widen, scanning the folks gathered round the big table behind us.

Seeing as we're in _that's _mother's dining room makes this conversation somewhat inappropriate.

Okay.

Okay.

A lot inappropriate.

Completely, one-hundred percent inappropriate.

"I don't know, you think I should?" I stupidly ask, earning a disgusted scoff, and shake of Mike's head.

"If you don't, I will, and I don't care if he takes it up the ass or not. We're going home with that notch on one, or both of our belts." Grabbing the last of the tasty-looking corn bread, he briefly turns back with a concluding brow. "Ya heard me."

Taking a seat directly across from _that_, Mike and I dig in, only to be stopped by the deep clearing of The Duke's throat. "Don't know what hoodlum-surrounds ya'll's raised in, but round these parts, we says Grace."

Sharing a wide-eyed glance, we both drop a greasy chicken leg, bowing our heads, peeking out of our supposed-to-be-closed eyes.

Growing up Catholic, I know Mike is counting the seconds, and the number of times he'd been cursed to Hell by his demented, old bat of a grandmother.

I on the other hand, am watching Edward's serene face, wondering if he was raised in the church, still goes, bows his head in prayer of his own free will, and believes in God.

The thought scares me.

_What if he does?_

"Ah men." They finish, grabbing at the numerous finger foods, clinking, scraping their stainless steel utensils against noisy, glass dishware, leaving me and Mike with little to no appetite.

"Y'all ain't hungry? You need to eat; you're both just skin and bones." Esme, Edward's mother, observes which I'm sure Mike more than appreciates, seeing as how he starves himself on a regular basis, living off the fumes of imported, ethyl alcohol.

We really were a sad, sad pair.

"Real men like their women with a little grip to their hips, and meat on the bones." She says, most likely unaware that she could be addressing either one of us when Edward surprisingly chimes in.

"Eat."

* * *

Bossy Edward of few words is back! Yes! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Staring right at me, Edward wipes the grease from his bossy mouth.

Holding his full fork mid-air, he waits.

For what, I don't know.

Compliance?

Obedience?

Well, he's not going to get it.

No, Sir.

Not from me.

_Hmm-mm_.

I stare right back.

"What is it that you do, Bella?" Esme, the polite one of the bunch, tries to change the subject; bless her heart, as they say.

Tearing my gaze from those blazing, green eyes, I meet her curious ones. "I waitress during the week, and tend bar every other weekend."

Edward's fork drops, clanking loudly against his half shoveled plate, and we all jump, turning towards the noisy interruption.

If I thought he was mad before..

"You tend bar?" He asks, looking from me to Mike, from Mike to me.

"Yes." I answer proudly; nose up in the air, as he looks back at Mike, narrowing his icy, hot stare.

Yes.

Icy, hot.

It's cold, but hot.. like, _hot._

Nevermind.

"You let her tend bar." He says, pointing an accusing finger in poor Mike's gaping face.

_The fuck?_

Leaning over, I shield my best friend from this heated, thigh-burning glare.

And boy, do they burn.

"He doesn't_ let_ me do anything. I do what I want; nobody _lets _me do anything, but me."

His cheeks flame, neck strains.

_Shit, the neck strain._

He shakes his pretty, close-minded head. "I don't like it."

Scoffing, I cross my arms over my pounding chest, and lean against the high back of the chair, rubbing my burning thighs together. "You don't have to like it."

Clenching that sharp, scruffy jaw he picks up another fork full, to only put it back down.

_Damn that sexy jaw, and the powers that be!_

"It's dangerous." Poking at the uneaten food, he calms, unclenches, doesn't look up.

"No more dangerous than the late night walks home, and I've never had any trouble."

I regret it as soon as I say it.

"You let her walk them streets alone at night?"

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for **excellence in editing**! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE! **thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com The Cullen Family **Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Son, please." Esme sighs, eyeing Edward for a beat before settling her softening stare on Mike.

"And what is it _you_ do, Michael?" She so eloquently changes the sore subject.

A real lady in every sense of the word.

Keeping my questioning gaze on the narrowed, green eyes, sharp, clenched jaw, and straight-lined lips of her not-so-eloquent son, I see Mike fidget in my periphery.

He never did like to talk about himself, and I never understood why.

Maybe it was the name.

"I uh.. I freelance for a few local papers, and work part-time at the uh.. The Shack."

Yeah, it was definitely the name.

"The Shack? What is that?" Esme asks, and I hold back the giggle I can never contain when he says it out loud.

"It's uh.. It's actually the uh.. 'The Shake It like A Polaroid Shack.' We develop photos. I run the machine." He trails off, somewhat sinking down in his high-back chair as I take in the surrounding, raised brows.

"Well, that sounds nice, dear. Did you bring that camera? I've actually been wanting some pictures of the land, and our good God knows my boys ain't gonna do it." Esme sweetly requests, and Mike straightens, as I stand gathering my plates to take them into the kitchen.

I almost turn around to leave them when Edward, loudly scrapes the wood floor with the legs of his chair, following closely behind me.

I can feel his breath blow the back of my hair, as I clean off the still-full dish.

Twisting, I don't look up as I take his out of his hands to clean it as well.

"I don't like him." He says, placing a hand against the edge of the counter.

"You don't even know him."

Scuffing his boots on the shiny, checkered linoleum, he steps closer, placing the other hand on the edge, boxing me in, and I resist the urge to lean back into him while one scenario plays on loop in my buzzing head.

_His hands on my hips, holding me close; his lips graze my neck, my jaw, begging me to turn my head where his lips touch my lips; slow, steady they move, part to taste his intolerant tongue._

And, it all starts with a lean.

"I know he don't do right by you." He grumbles, tightening his paling grip on the pearly, black granite, and I shake those distracting thoughts, realizing he thinks Mike and I are together.

_Ha!_

"If you were mine, I'd take care-a-you; good care."

My stomach flips with the word _mine; _how such a simple word could be so exciting, and yet so scary all at the same time.

Sighing, I set down the squeaky, clean plates, turning between his caging arms to look into his pretty, softened greens, and I lean back, crossing my arms, needing a little distance.

My heart flutters, but I don't falter.

"I'm not anybody's, and I don't need taken care of. I do just fine on my own."

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for **excellence in editing**! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE! **thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com The Cullen Family **Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"So, what the fuck was all that?" Mike notions, palm out toward the side of the Cullen's farmhouse, swirling his hand in a circular motion.

I shrug. "He thought we were together."

"Ha!" Pulling a Virginia Slim out of the pocket of his '_occasion-called-for'_ flannel, he pats around, finding a match, sparking it with the bottom of his '_too-cute'_, ankle-high, cowboy boots.

_Whoa there, Haus. _

"That much I gathered, slow-to-get-there-Sally. I mean, what _the fuck_.." He notions bigger, slower. "..was all that?" Taking a deep drag, he quirks a brow, letting the smoke escape the corner of his mouth.

Crossing my arms, I look down, kicking invisible rocks on the dirt-covered ground, having no intention of sharing Cowboy Casanovas unsettling confession.

"I thought you stopped smoking."

"Don't even try." He warns, and I huff, turning away to stare at the moon; searching for this rumored man, as Mike lightly tugs the ends of my dust-covered hair.

"Bella.."

I swat him away, and he sings, "Belllllla.." hugging me from behind, rocking from side to side.

I mean, seriously.

No wonder Edward thought we were together.

"What in Sam Hill did Chaps in Charge say to you?"

"Nothing." I stubbornly shrug again, laying my head back on a bony shoulder, not needing him to elaborate- that one I got.

"Yous high-tailed it outta theres awful quick fur nuttin'." He pathetically drawls, and I roll my moon-marred eyes.

"Sam Hill? High-tailed? Really, Mike?"

Releasing me, he sticks the dainty, death stick back in his mouth, raising his hands.

"Hey, just tryin' to fit in. We've got a whole week with this arousing rodeo, and your boyfriend's already threatened me with his very long finger." Raising both brows, he tilts his dirty, dirty head. "He seems the take-charge type, and you know how I like to just lay there and take it."

Groaning, I hold my innocent ears until Mike pries them free, jutting his chin. "I think somebody wants you."

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for **excellence in editing**! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE! **thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com The Cullen Family **Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Stomach fluttering, I slowly turn; regretting everything I said, how I ducked under, and out of his outstretched, offering arms.

It was stupid.

I bet they're warm.

"Hey there, Bella, Mike."

My heart falls with a wave of tiny fingers, as the dark-haired beauty holds out her well-manicured hand.

_Matte?_

_Hmm.._

_Impressive._

"I'm Alice, Jasper's wife, Edward's sister in-law." Smiling, she pulls me close with a jerk- freakishly strong for someone so small. "I can see why he likes you. Mm-hmm.. He always has preferred the subtle beauty of a feisty brunette, and you are feisty!"

_Did she..?_

Throwing a glance back at a wide-eyed Mike, he gums his lips, silently answering in the affirmative.

_Oh, she did._

Well.

"Don't hear me wrong now. You're much prettier than the last, and the one before that, and the one before that.. Come to think, you're probably the prettiest of 'em all." Giggling, she gasps, covering her open mouth.

Maybe, she should just shut. it.

"Not that there's been all that many, but he is a Cullen-boy, mind you." She explains, like that's supposed to make me feel better. And, I completely understand where she's coming from.

But, it doesn't.

"Only one pregnancy scare, which beats Jasper's three by a good hop, and a skip." Nodding, she shuts her bright blues, spreading a tight, pursed smile, as if to say- _That's right, just the one._

Well.

Stomach turning, I feel like I could get sick; bring it on up, and let it all go all over the fancy, red-suede of her expensive-looking boots.

I wouldn't even feel bad.

"You can imagine the Duke's relief. She was a city girl like yourself, but with blinky-bright dollar signs in her tellin', green eyes." Shaking her short, black bob, she picks at the edge of her freshly-done nail, and I cringe. "That baby would've been beautiful, but that ain't here nor there." She blurts, flicking her wrist, and all I can think is how does she keep from chipping that charcoal polish?

It's matte, for Christ's sake!

"Uh.." I'm at a loss for all intelligible speech, when I feel Mike creep up behind me to rub my shaking, strained shoulders.

My shameless savior.

"So just the one, huh?"

* * *

So.. Alice, huh? lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta for this one. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Sorry, I had to.. you'll see.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Lying awake, I toss and turn, thinking about this one scare, and how apparently sticking it raw dog to the seasonal slew of brunettes was second nature here at the Cullen No-need-to-wrap-it-up Ranch.

_Only one.._

I needlessly shake my head.

_Ya._

_That he knows of._

Well, shit.

Huffing, I flip to face the brown, wool blanket Mike's buried himself under.

It was unnaturally cold up in this hee-haw hole in the wall.

"I can't stop thinking about it."

"Oh, I know." I hear him mumble, shimmying around the squeaky cot, trying in vain to stay covered.

Muted moonlight filters through the annoyingly, un-closeable curtain, and I can just make out the tip of his sniffing nose.

I swear to the 'U' fitted form of those tight, Wrangler jeans if his whiny ass gets sick.

"You can't stop thinking about it either?" I ask, propping myself up, resting my restless head in the cradle of my open palm.

"No, that bitch is crazy." He says, and I lie back down, staring up at the contrasting, white stucco, and ebony-stained beams; confused.

_What?_

"What bitch?" I ask.

"K-stew. Why she would pick that buck-toothed toad over flawless perfection, I will never know. Crazy bitch." He quips, wiping his running nose on the edge of the scratchy cover, and I groan.

"Oh my God."

"What? Isn't that who you're talking about?" He asks, and I scoff, propping myself back up.

"No!"

Hearing the creak of squeaky springs, I know he's propped himself up to mirror my side-lying stance.

_K-stew._

I needlessly shake my head for the second time.

_Geesh._

"Well, who the hell are you talking about then?" Hearing him sniff again, I roll my eyes.

I'm not dealing with his proclaimed, slow death out on the wide, open range.

And, I'm pretty sure there's no place to plug in his humidifier.

"I'm talking about all the possible green-eyed, love children that horse-honing harlot's fathered! I mean, really. Really?!" I whisper-screech; I wreech, raising a questioning hand, as if to ask..

Well.. _Really?!_

I mean, come on!

"Look at it like this. No way would that hunky chunk of yum not know he had a kid." Adjusting his lumpy pillow, Mike comes to the reasonable rescue once again.

"No bitch out there's gonna keep that golden ticket a secret."

* * *

The fandom choice award nominees are up, and my beta **Sunflowerfran3759** has been nominated for **excellence in editing**! Which she deserves because she makes me look pretty, and seem smart, and I would be lost without her! GO VOTE! **thefandomchoiceawards. blogspot. com The Cullen Family** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

Just setting some things straight.. One - I will never be above any bullshit that makes me laugh. Two – I'm fueled by snarky sarcasm. If you can't handle, don't follow, don't favorite, don't read. I truly love, and appreciate all of you that can, and do! Oh, and don't drop me any lines unless they positively reflect me, or my work. (- See? What did I tell you? Sarcasm.. But, not really. ; ) Can't stop, won't stop!

* * *

_**Bella**_

Where is Blackie?

I need Blackie.

What is that saying?

Once you go black you never go back?

Well, I'm pretty sure they got it from trying to saddle the bucking back of Princess Prancer here.

And yes, that's her name.

Which she can thank loose-lipped Alice for.

No wonder.

This moody bitch had just thrown it off for the third time.

"Lil'darlin'!" The Duke yells, and I jump, dropping the un-saddable seat back down on the dirt-covered ground.

And yes, I realize un-saddable is not a word.

"Didn' my eldest not teach ya a damn thang?" He asks, grabbing at the shiny, gold buckle on his black, leather belt.

_What?_

"I'm sorry?"

Adjusting, he pulls at the waist of his low-hanging Levi's, twanging a little bit slower. "Didn' .. my eldest.. not teach ya a damn thang?"

Didn't help.

_Was this a trick question?_

"Uh.."

"Edward!" Get on over here son!" Holding on tight to the droopy denim, The Duke waves the whore.. I mean, horse whisperer over.

"Didn' ya not teach lil'darlin' here a damn thang? Get this here on that there horse, and hoist'er ass up. We ain't got all the blessed damn day."

Taking off with the faded tink of his unnecessary, silver spurs, a mumbling Duke leaves me standing in silence while his sordid son picks up, and wipes off the saddle, placing it securely on Princess Prancer's back.

_What_ did I tell you?

_Whores_ whisperer.

_Ha!_

Get it?

You got it.

Without saying a word, Edward grabs me, holding on tight to my waist. His fingers squeeze, hand roams.

_Shit!_

I don't want to like it.

I shouldn't like it; his long fingers, his big hand, his blowing hot breath on the snug of my ear.

Stopping just behind my knee, he lifts, setting the tip of my riding boot inside the stirrup. And this time I'm ready, but not for him to let go.

Grabbing the reins, I pull with his push, swinging my leg over the pretty, pink seat, settling my boot in the stirrup on the other side.

"Thanks." I say because it's proper, not because I want to.

With a quick lick of his lips, he looks away, side to side, then down at the ground; not saying a thing, although, I think maybe he wants to.

"Git-along lil'dogies, we're movin' out!"

* * *

My story The Parlor was nominated over at **twifanfictionrecs. com** for top 10 completed fics of December! So, head on over and vote for it.. ya know, if ya want. ; ) Big THANK YOU to the person who submitted this fic! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Sum'n ta behold, ain't it lil'darlin'?"

Pulling my stare from the straddled sight before me, I nod; doubtful The Duke's referring to his son's tight ass.

"It's somethin', all right." Those damn, cheek-squeezing jeans.

_Damn them!_

_Damn him!_

_Dammit!_

"Ain't never did seen a perttier sight, if I don' say so muh-self."

Still nodding, I agree.. I think.

"Yeah, it's beautiful; smells good, too; nice and fresh; much better than the humid fumes of rotting trash lining those congested, city streets." Mike butts in, taking an exaggerated, deep breath, earning a bushy, raised brow.

"Ya say that nah, but just ya'll wait till yer caught down wind'a'ol' meadow muffin. Boy'll set ya righ'quick; righ'quick, indeedee. Oh, boy." Chuckling to himself, The Duke trots ahead, leaving us open-mouthed long enough to eat his dust.

_Meadow muffin?_

_Was he just garbling on about cow shit?_

"Can't understand a damn word he says, but fuck me.." And, Mike just stops talking.

"Fuck me, what?" I ask, watching him shamelessly ogle the suspected stroke victim's backside.

He shakes his head. "Hm-mm, just fuck me_, _period. As in, he totally can.. and please do."

_Right._

_Shouldn't've asked._

We're silent the rest of the afternoon, genuinely struck speechless by incoherent innuendos, and the overwhelming beauty of nature's picturesque plains.

The sensitive underside of my ass is more than ready to stop, when that tight-tushied trollop jumps down from his deceptive, white steed to quickly set-up camp.

It takes me long enough, but I manage to dismount all by myself, jumping when I feel a warm set of hands at the joining of my sore thighs.

"Tell me." He breathes, blowing that hot, hushed breath against my defenseless, listening ear.

"How'd that beatin' compare t'all them others?"

* * *

*grins* Can't you just feel him warming the underside of your ass?! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Slowly stroking the stimulated underside of my sad, sore ass, he continues to breathe that sweet, ragged breath.

"I've had worse." I lie, whimpering with the pressured knead of his long, lithe fingers. Any further forward, and I'll be riding them instead.

"That so?"

Nodding, I lean back; giving into the drawl of his voice, the heat of his hands. And with one last squeeze, he's gone.

Just gone.

_Dammit!_

"You best watch yourself. You don't wanna end up just another roped, rigged, and ridden statistic." Mike smirks, waving his rawhide, cowboy hat, bucking his boney hips, thinking he's so Goddamn cute.

So, maybe I do.

What's so wrong with that?

Girls need to get theirs too, right?

And, who better?

Who hotter?

Who..

Who..

_Dammit!_

"Ya? And, who says." I blurt, still stirred and sopping wet; not daring to move, on the off chance she'll slurp.

Stickin'em up, he purses his smiling lips, backing up as he does. "Aight, aight; go on girl." Jutting his pointy chin toward Princess Prancer, he talks over his turned shoulder. "You save that horse."

* * *

Awww, he did it. lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Jesus, are we there yet? I need a Cosmopolis." Mike whines.

Rubbing his stuffy nose, he pouts his bottom lip.

"You mean Cosmo?"

Whimpering, he nods. "That too."

I knew he was going to get sick, and I was going to have to deal with it. And there weren't a whole lot of places to hide out in the great wide open. I wasn't going anywhere near any one of those cows.

Nope.

Never again.

_Hmm-mm.._

Not wanting to look at his pathetic, pouting face, I focus on Edward's pert ass- now knowing it's exactly two shades lighter than his brawny, bronzed upper half.

"Let's play a game."

_Ooh!_

_Is it the Guess the Tone of Edward's Sweet Cheeks game?_

_Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!_

_Classic Ivory!_

_No!_

_No._

_Creamy natural._

Yes.

It was definitely creamy- looked all nice and soft and round and..

_Shit!_

"I spy with my watery, little eye- something green."

"Grass."

"Dammit!"

"I spy with my most-likely, unattractive, blood-shot eye.." Mike turns to me in question, and I nod. ".. something tall."

"Grass."

"Dammit!"

Searching for anything; anything but the endless span of surrounding, green grass, his eyes light up. Smiling, he opens his mouth.

"Grass."

"Dammit!"

Grumbling under his breath, he went quiet, but not for long.

"What a lovely bunch of cows." He remarked out of nowhere.

"Sure."

"No, Bella. _What_ a lovely _bunch _of cows."

I shrug. "Ya, so?"

"Oh my God."

"What?! What the hell are you getting at?"

Huffing, he shakes his head. "Just say- no, it's a herd." Staring me down, he pushes. "Say it."

"No, it's a herd."

"Heard of what?"

Staring, he waits, but not for long. "Say- Herd of cows, Bella." He orders, propping his hand on his hip. "Say it."

Sighing, I roll my eyes, obligated to feed into his crazy. "Herd of cows."

"Well, of course I've heard of cows."

His loud guffaw startles, and they all moo- causing him to laugh louder. And me to worry for the fate of my fevered friend.

Perhaps he brought a bottle of that illegally incubated elixir along for the ride.

"Lil'darlin!"

Trotting off, I leave the doubled-over douche in the dust. And Princess Prancer stops obediently, just beside The Duke.

"Go on, an'get down off that there horse. My boy'll be needin' some help catchin' supper."

* * *

Sorry this took so long, but I have an excuse :D I've been working on a o/s for The Heart of Country Contest. Voting February 16 through February 23, so keep a look out! Thanks for reading- if you still are, and of course reviewing! I love reading your words, and emoticons. :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Now, I'm all for supper.

Fixing it- not so much- especially given The Duke's choice of slurred words.

_Catch?_

Chances are this is only going to end one way.

And that's badly.

Awkwardly sliding off my little, pink-seated pony, my foot spastically sways from side to side in a _painfully_ unsuccessful search for the ground. And I'm not sure how much more abuse my poor ass can take.

Picking myself up from off of it, I make my way over to the bubbling brook to find Edward thigh-high in the clear, running water.

"I'm supposed to help you." I inform, and he shushes me- holding up his hands before diving in to pull out a flapping fish.

_Well._

I'll be the telling tap of Senator Craig's toe before I wade my way into that mess.

Throwing the slimy salmon into the bucket on the bank, he holds out his shiny, wet hand.

"C'mere."

_He can't be serious!_

I don't care how pretty he is, no way am I touching those frisky fish fingers.

_Ewww!_

"I won'bite."

_Unless you want me to._

I internally add, knowing he's thinking it too.

_Who wouldn't?_

"Don'be tellin' me yer scared, nah." Trudging over, he stands right in front of me- soaking wet. His bare chest glistens in the setting sun, as distracting droplets roll- dripping from that savory, sun-kissed skin. "No reason ta be."

Feeling cool moisture, I open my hand- letting him take it in his.

_That's not so bad._

_Kinda nice even._

_Really nice._

I let him lead me out to the middle of the shivery stream where he stops- pulls me close to stand in front of him.

The rippling current sparkles, blinding as it catches the light. And, his strong arm steadies, wrapping around my lower stomach as he whispers against my ear.

"Is'all righ-, I got'chu."

* * *

My ass would not think twice about touching those frisky fish fingers. *shakes head* ;) Who wants more of these two today? You have to ask, but at least it doesn't have to be nicely.. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

With his mouth so close, my mind shuts down- deprived body takes over.

Melting into him, my hand rises- on its own accord- to stroke the rough scruff on his jaw, and _my hand to God_- literally- he purrs.

With no real acknowledgement of my inappropriate petting, he takes my hand in his- tangling our fingers as he lowers them to his thigh.

"Ya ready ta get wet?"

_You don't even know._

"When I say bend, ya bend- ford an'fast. Got it?"

"Got it."

_I think._

These cursive-crooning cowboys really needed to learn how to annunciate.

Standing perfectly still, my muscles are stiff and sore- not wanting to bend when he says bend, but I do what he says. As long as his hardening bulge stays nestled in the crack of my ass, I'll do anything he says.

We're elbows deep in the shallow water when he gives his next, vague order. "Get 'em! Get 'em! Don'be lettin'em get away!"

_What the hell?_

And that's when I feel it.

Grabbing the wiggling tail, I pull it back- knocking into Edward's hard chest- sending him back, and splashing into the stream.

Too grossed out to care for his well-being, I scream- trying to keep hold of the slimy, sickening squirmer.

"Throw'er, Lil'Darlin' throw'er over'ere!" Turning toward The Dukes booming voice, I toss it in the direction of the bank- making the bucket on the first shot.

"Oh my God, I did it!" Jumping around the moss-covered rocks, lamely chanting, _"I did it! I did it!" - _Probably wasn't the smartest move I decide, as I slip- nearly falling into the stream myself. "Shit!" I shout, as a strong pair arms wrap around my middle, holding me in place.

"I got'chu, girl." He coos- his cool, wet lips pressing against my neck.

"And don'chu be forgettin' it."

* * *

**Who's reading In Mates? I'm almost done with the next chap! Gah! And don't forget to put The heart of country contest on alert! I'll be entering a o/s! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

'_I got'chu, girl. And don'chu be forgettin' it.'_

Sitting across the fire from those glistening, green eyes, and just-licked lips, how could I?

Still feeling his strong arms wrapped around me, and his cool mouth pressed against my neck, I couldn't.

I couldn't forget.

Never would.

Never.

_Ever._

"I think I might be dying." Mike whines, ruining the moment, and sneezes into the flames, sending a swarm of flickering fire-flies up into the star-lit sky.

_Nice._

"Well, go die over there."

Shaking him off my shoulder, I give him a light shove, and he falls over with a thud.

So dramatic, this one.

"Goose! Goose!" He shouts, barely lifting his head.

And now he's hallucinating.

_Great!_

"Take me ta bed'r lose me ferever." He mumbles, face down in the dirt.

_Oh good, no need to worry. _

_He's just doing a bit._

You know, from Top Gun.

Meg Ryan had that God-awful twang, and made damn sure everyone could hear it.

Yeah.

Standing, I wipe the dirt from my ass, and lightly kick him in his. "Show me the way home, ya big douche."

Groaning, he pushes himself up and off the ground. And I briefly consider kicking him again, as he whines and complains; stumbling his way over to the tent, where he pulls me in behind him.

"Don't let me die alone."

Huffing, I lie down beside him and stroke his sweaty head until he's passed out and snoring.

Loudly.

Tossing and turning, and kicking me in his sleep.

But it's not until he so openly coughs in my face that I've had enough.

"Goddammit Mike." I grumble, crawling my way out of the tent to find nothing but the lasting smoke of the freshly, put-out fire, and my gaze lands on _his_ tent.

_Do I dare?_

Pacing, I weigh my options.

A snotting, gay best-friend that will poke me all night.

Or..

A shirtless, skilled cowboy that will poke me all night.

_Hmm.._

Decisions, decisions.

Wringing my sweaty hands, I decide, making my way over to squat in front of his tent.

Reaching for the pull, I take a deep breath before unzipping it.

* * *

Go ahead call me names, see if I care ; ) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Down on my hands and knees, I lean back onto my heels.

"Hey."

It's all I can say, seeing him sitting there all shirtless, and.. shirtless.

_Shit!_

I'd seen him shirtless before.

I saw him shirtless all day.

Hell, my eyes have even been blessed with the creamy, white vision of his amazingly tight ass.

But never in his tent!

I've never seen him shirtless in _this_ tent.

___Get it together, Bella._

"Hey." The parrot repeats, amused.

The slight smirk on his lips is tempting, and I want to kiss it off his face.

I wonder what he would do if I tried.

Probably let me.

_What if he let me?_

Briefly peeking back at the tent of terror I barely escaped from, I look down at the ground, not wanting to sleep on it.

"Can I.."

"Can ya what?"

"Can I.."

"Can ya what, Bella?"

Looking up, I meet the hard green of his eyes. It holds mine as he waits, rather un-patiently. And I realize that's the first time he's used my name.

"Can I stay with you?"

* * *

**Prepare to be tortured and teased for the next couple chaps. LOL I enjoy a good keyboard lashing just as much as your kind, appraising words. ; ) Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

He doesn't say anything, just pulls the covers down, patting the unused space. And I crawl, hoping to all that's holy I look seductive, and not like a spastic, jungle cat in heat.

Biting my lip, I keep from moaning out when I see he's dressed in nothing but his skivvies.

_Shit!_

_Boy wears tightie-whities like he's trying for a Calvin Klein add._

_Marky Mark, eat your muscled heart out._

Climbing into the blankets, I pull them up and around me, burrowing down at the farthest end of the tent.

He was just too tempting, and I didn't trust my tingling fingers not to touch the delectable drawers.

_Damn the appeal of skin-tight unders!_

"Take them damn pants off, and get on over here."

Wide-eyed, I look over, seeing that he means business.

_Was he serious?_

_He can't be serious!_

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Pulling the blankets up further, I cover my labored pants.

"They's stiff as a board, ain't they."

I nod.

"So take 'em off. I ain't gonna touch ya.. not unless you ask me to."

_Oh Jesus, give me strength._

Still under the covers, I make to unbuckle the button, and slowly push down the scratchy denim.

Why I packed my days of the week underwear, I will never know.

Why I have them, I will never tell.

Pulling the stiff jeans out, I toss them to the side; being quick to cover myself back up.

"Better?"

Nodding, I look up to see his satisfied smirk.

"Nah, get on over here."

* * *

Who's up for another? I take bribes in the form of reviews, and reviews only ; ) And don't forget to put The heart of country contest on alert! I'll be entering a o/s! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

He holds my gaze, refusing to look away first.

_Oh, game on._

He doesn't know it, but I happen to hold the record for most minutes un-blinked.

Yep, un-blinked.

As in, time lapsed where I haven't blinked…

Mm-hmm..

Un-blinked.

"I told ya, I ain't gonna touch ya, but it gets pretty dang cold out here at night. And sooner'r later, you's gonna wanna warm body to be keepin' that pretty, lil' ass from gettin' the frostbite."

_Ya, I doubt that._

_Frostbite in the middle of summer?_

_What does he take me for?_

_One of his frequented foolish floozies?_

_No._

_I'm not buying it._

"I think I'll chance it." I say, stubborn and horny as hell.

Which is beside the point, but not really because damn am I horny as hell.

And damn am I pissed about it.

"Suit'cherself then."

Breaking eye contact first for the _first_ time ever, I turn away, curling into a tight ball, praying I don't get the frostbite like he said.

And I have no idea what time it is when I wake, shaking like Paula Deen's Goddamn salt shaker.

"Holy fuck." I breathe, watching the white puff of heated breath forming from between my lips.

Looking over, I contemplate what he said, but just briefly, before _crawling_ _ass_ across the tent and cuddling up to him underneath the covers.

He said he wouldn't touch me, but nothing about me not touching him, so I shove my freezing hands under his back, and twine our legs; warming my toes with his so-warm skin.

Smirking he doesn't say a word, doesn't even flinch, and I rest my head against his chest, letting the beat of his warm heart lull me back to sleep.

* * *

Last one for the night, but I'd still love to hear from you : D And don't forget to put The heart of country contest on alert! I'll be entering a o/s! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Waking, I'm sweaty, disheveled, and all alone.

Thankful he's not here to gloat, I wipe the sleep from my eyes, and push back the blankets; finding myself in nothing but my panties and tank.

Sitting up, I scan the tent, looking for my jeans that are nowhere to be found.

"What the…"

Hearing the slow zip of the tent opening, I book it on my hands and knees, barely making it back under the covers before Edward crawls inside.

"Where are my pants?" I ask, blankets pulled up to my chin.

"Sat'em out in the sun, so they'd loosen. Yer ass's already tight enough."

_What the…_

_Did he…_

Well.

"Don'be goin' and gettin' yer Tuesdays in a twist, nah, I don'mean nothin' by it."

"How… Wha-…"

"I told ya I wouldn'touch ya, never said I wouldn'look."

Well.

"I gotta tell ya." Wiping the sweat from his brow, he huffed.

"I never had a girl not ask."

_Was he serious?_

_Did he seriously just say that?_

"You've got to be kidding."

Shaking his head, he smiles.

"Not at all."

Sitting up, I secure the blankets, feeling like I might get sick.

"Could you get my pants, please? I want my pants."

Huffing another puff of air through his nose, he stares at my exposed shoulder, not making to move.

"Pants. Please. I want my pants."

Scooting closer, he ignores me, raising a hand to graze what he can see; the ghosting pads of his fingers rough against the skin.

"Ask me."

* * *

... ; ) Don't forget to put **The Heart of Country Contest** on alert! I'll be entering a one shot! Also, my story **The Parlor** was nominated over at **twifanfictionrecs. com** for top 10 fics for the month of December. So if you want to be super sweet, please go vote for it, and I'll love you forever! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Fighting the droop of my eyelids, I let him lightly ghost the tips of his fingers along my skin.

It's begging, but I'm not asking.

No way.

"No." I refuse, swatting his calloused hand away.

It was distracting.

_Too_ distracting.

"No?" He asks, like he's never heard the word, which of course he hasn't.

He already told me so.

"No… now go get my pants." I order, lying back down to better cover myself.

"No."

_Wha-!_

Shooting back up, I let the blanket drop, before hiking it back up.

He'd already seen enough.

"No?" I repeat, dumbly, stunned by his refusal to fetch my jeans.

_Who did he think he was?_

_The pants police?_

_More like the denim Deputy._

_Longish Shorts Sheriff?_

"No."

Crazy annoyed, I huff, and throw off the covers.

"Fine." I quip, crawling seductively across the tent to unzip the zipper.

I make sure to arch my back, giving him a good view of well… the goods.

"What the hell you think yer doin'?"

"Getting my pants. I need my pants."

I swear I hear him growl, as I crawl out into the hot, morning sun to find everyone gathered around the fire.

"Morning." I greet, ignoring the gaping stares in search of my long lost jeans.

I just spot them when he stomps up behind me, effectively blocking their view.

"Get back in that Goddamn tent."

"No."

I keep walking in the direction of my laid-out jeans, but he stops me; grabbing hold of my wrist, and spins me around.

I'm nearly knocked off my feet by the livid weight of his stern lips.

* * *

**Yep. ;) Don't forget to put ****The Heart of Country Contest** on alert! I'll be entering a one shot! Also, my story **The Parlor** was nominated over at **twifanfictionrecs. com** for top 10 fics for the month of December. So if you want to be super sweet, please go vote for it, and I'll love you forever! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Shocked, I try to pull back, but he holds me firm against his lips.

Unmoving, they mold to mine, and I close my eyes, holding on tight to his bent elbows.

This static kiss is the most ardent I'd ever felt, and if I could, I would wrap my arms right around his sweaty neck, and crawl up that hard body like a shameless, spider monkey.

_Ya heard me?_

Opening my mouth, I take his lower lip between mine, biting lightly before soothing the bit flesh with my tongue.

"Mmm.." He moans, slipping his out to play.

He tastes like hickory-smoked goodness, and I moan right back.

"Get a tent, yous two." The Duke yells, spoiling the best breakfast I've ever had when Edward pulls back, just far enough that I can still breathe him in.

_Freshly, cut timber, and camp-fire smoke._

"Ain't nobody needs to be seein'is, and lil'darlin'… all the rest us here'd be 'preciatin' it if ya'd put on some pants."

* * *

That Duke, I tell ya.. ;) And you can't tell me you wouldn't give in to the hickory-smoked goodness. If you do, it's a lie. ;) Don't forget to put **The Heart of Country Contest** on alert! I'll be entering a one shot! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

The rest of my day was going just as badly as the pant-less morning.

Not only had I shamefully dropped my guard, and let the gallivanting goon put his well-trained tongue in my mouth, I left my Wednesday's at home, which meant I was a day late, and a panty short.

Of all the things.

Now, I was cornered into corralling these cows commando, and Princess Prancer wouldn't let me within mounting distance of her.

It was as if she knew.

"What in the sam-fersaken hill did you'n do to this-here damn horse, lil'darlin'?"

Feigning ignorance of my panty-less state, I shrug.

"Well shit girl, there ain't no way yer makin'er on foot, jus'gon have ta ride with one'a us, I'spose. And'ats all there's to it."

Turning to Mike, I find him passed out, securely tied to the saddle.

_Nope._

I don't even consider riding behind The Duke, who boiled a whole can of beans just for himself.

_Nope._

_No, thank you._

So, that only left…

"Well get on'ere lil'darlin', we ain't got all the damn, blessed day."

* * *

Wow, it's been awhile... sorry bout that. :/ Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**_Bella_**

It's a strange feeling, straddling the ass end of a big, black beast whilst free-vagin' it.

A little uncomfortable, but yes, I had to admit – freeing just the same.

For the better half of the day, I had been riding the steady bounce, taken aback by the un-obstructing friction. And sufficed to say, teetered on the edge of a few near misses.

Nothing about the cowboy I was currently clutching was helping my situation either. Whenever I took a goddamn breath, he was in it; the musk, the mirth, the man.

_Damn._

"It feels good, ya know, you holdin' on ta me like'is." His voice was soft and I barely heard him, but I heard him none the less.

"Feel good ta you?"

_Well, of course it does!_

But I wasn't about to tell him that.

Placing his hands on my knees, he pulls me even closer, right up to the hard edge of the saddle.

"How's'at, pretty girl? How's'at feel?"

_Shit._

He fucking knew.

He fucking knew I was aching, the diabolical bastard!

Trying to pull back, I feel his hand slide up to hold my ass firm, as he gives the horse a swift kick, causing him to trot. And…

_Oh, fuck!_

Gripping him tighter around his narrow waist, I bite his cotton-covered shoulder trying not to scream with the heat of his searing hand, and rub of the rigid saddle.

"Yeah, pretty girl, tha'sit." He coos putting more pressure on my tensed up tush, and I bite harder, "Yeah, tha'sit," moaning into the muffling fabric as I explode, creaming all over the inside seam of my_ Lucky_ jeans.

_Holy. Fucking. Shit._

* * *

**What's that? You want some more sexy times out on the great, wide 'O'pen?... ;) Let me hear you then...**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**_Bella_**

Sitting around the cracking, campfire, we're all sober and silent, melting our mangled marshmallows.

No words, no glances have been exchanged since that big, embarrassing m'O'ment.

And I was thankful.

I was thankful he didn't pick, didn't prod, didn't poke any fun.

But come on… the silent treatment?

_Seriously?_

I knew what he was doing, I knew this little game.

Reel'em in, make'em writhe, then let'em reflect.

And goddamn, was I reflecting.

"Well y'all I'm a turn'in in. Long day tomorra, but we goin' be ridin' in jus'in time ta soun'at ol'supper bell, yes'um… mm-mm-mm… lookin' ford'a that there, good'ol, homespun mush, mm-hmm..."

_What the…_

_Mush?_

_Hmm…_

Maybe I didn't hear him right.

Maybe he had meant lunch.

Yeah cause, you know how these backwoods' wrangler-wearers do…

Their breakfast's their dinner and their supper's their lunch.

Yeah, I'm going to go with lunch.

Pretty sure that's what he meant.

"I'm turnin' in too, you comin'?" Miraculously mended Mike asks, and I chance a look at the satisfying spasm stallion – who, of course, doesn't look back at me.

_Punk-ass pony perverter._

"Nah, I think I'll stay out here for a while; fire's nice."

None the wiser, Mike takes off, leaving the two of us alone in our suffocating silence.

I don't look back up until I hear him move. And right before he ducks his head under the opening of the tent, he glances back in invitation.

_Ha-Ha!_

_Knew it..._

Taking a deep breath, I follow him in, not hesitating in the slightest to climb under the covers and strip down to… well, nothing.

His façade never wavers as he strips down to his sculpted skivvies, crawling under the covers with me.

Barely touching, I'm wrapped in his warmth, his spicy scent.

And I just can't help it when his skin brushes up against my skin.

_Fuck it..._

"Touch me."

* * *

**Oooohh myyyy Gaaawwwd!**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**OMG, I just… I can't even with this…**

* * *

_**Bella**_

With no hesitation, Edward's up – and in more ways than one – shedding us both of the shielding sheets.

_Oh, shit!_

Caught off guard, my arms automatically go to cross my bare chest, but he stops me; holding them above my spinning head, as he nudges between my legs.

_Oh, God!_

_Oh, Fuck!_

"I ain't just gon'wanna touch ya, pretty girl. I'm gon'wanna see ya too."

_Oh, sweet Jesus, lord._

His breath hot on my tingling lips, he let's go of my wrists, tracing the length of my arms down to the sides of my breasts.

"You got some pretty titties, girl." He growls, his bare chest lightly brushing against them. "I been thinkin'bout 'em, girl. Thinkin'bout suckin' on 'em."

_Oh my, what?!_

Poking out the point of his pink tongue, he swirls the edge, flicking the taut nipple.

"Mmm… they taste good, girl; real, fuckin' good."

_Oh my God, he just licked my nip, and holy fuck, I've never been talked to like this before!_

I'd also never been this totally turned-on before either.

Trying to keep my mewling to a minimum, I watch as he comes at me again, latching on to my tip to tease and suck.

_Oh, fuck!_

Going to town on my _tasty tit_, he plays with the other before switching sides, giving each an equal amount of attention.

"Oh, God!" I can't help but moan, as he lowers his weight over my open center, nestling between my spread, lower lips.

"Oh, fuck!" I whimper, as he starts to move, increasing his vigor on my sensitive peaks.

And I wonder…

_How the fuck did the coitus connoisseur of cowboys learn to cultivate nipple stimulation?!_

Thought process put on hold, it doesn't take long before I'm lost in the moment; mewling and moaning, rubbing myself against his titillating tightie-whities; wanting desperately for him to take them off and in turn – take me – and hard.

"Oh, fuck!"

"You gon' come, pretty girl? You gon' come on me? Huh?"

I can't even speak, all I can do is continue to mewl and moan, as he pushes against me harder, taking a soddenly sucked nipple back into his hot mouth.

White-hot heat courses its way from my toes, sneaking up and in between my legs.

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!"

Warmth spreads through my stomach, zoning in on the wet heat of his mouth and I fuckin' implode; writhing under his heavy weight, while he holds my tight, watching me come down from the best orgasm I had ever had.

Ever.

Just... fucking ever.

"Beautiful, pretty girl; just… fuckin' beautiful."

* * *

***coughs* So, uh, yeah... and it's not over. Not until that coitus connoisseur comes. ;)**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Just… don't even read this… so ridiculous. OMG**

* * *

_**Edward**_

Nestled'tween Bella's spread legs, I watch'er writhe, caterwaulin' like a goddamn cat in heat.

"Beautiful, pretty girl; just… fuckin' beautiful." I tell'er cause she is – so fuckin' beautiful, so fuckin' sexy – I just couldn' fuckin' stand it.

_Fuck!_

From the first moment I saw'er I wanted'er; wanted'er more than I ever wanted any'a them other girls – flittin' an floatin'ere way in an out'a these simmerin', summer drives.

None of 'em meant nothin' ta me – nothin', not until'er; not until I saw'er pretty, brown eyes shinin' in the cracklin' campfire.

The stirrin' I felt deep down in my belly was difrin' from what I ever felt before, and it shook me – shook me good an right.

I tried ever-thing, ever-thing to get'er'tention, only ta push'er away; mouthin' off 'bout my easy feats with'em gulble'lil girls.

Fuckin' stupid – so fuckin' stupid.

An I was'fraid; fraid I wen'an gone too far with'at ol'foolish farce.

But she's here nah, spread an wet, writhin' underneath me – righ-fuckin' where she'sposed'a be.

Righ-fuckin' where she b'longs.

_So fuckin' good._

Pullin' down my strainin' unders, my stiff snake rears it's leakin' head, just beggin'a be buried in'at snug lil'hole'a hers.

I ain'even got'em all'a way off'fore I'm slidin' inta'er cushy heat.

"Ah, fuck."

Barely movin' I just 'bout bust a'ornery lil'nut, she's suckin' me in so good.

"Ah fuck, yeah."

Holdin' on to one'a them wide hips, I shine'er swollen lil'stub, just lettin'er pet'em with'er pretty pink pussy.

_So fuckin' soft and soppy._

_Fuck!_

_Ah fuck, so tight!"_

When she starts'at caterwaulin', I know she's close'an I let loose; thumpin' in an outta'er like a goddamn jack rabbit; watchin'em full titties bounce up an down, while I go ta town.

"Ah fuck yeah, girl; milk me, mama."

Her cries spur my achin' balls, an'ey tingle, heatin' up wit one last hump, "Ah fuck! Ah fuck!" An she convulses 'neath me; soakin' up them spurtin' strings'a spunk.

"Fuck."

Sweatin' bullets, I rest my swimmin' head against'er heavin' chest; thinkin'a only one good thing ta say; what I know I been feelin' for while nah. An I don'much care if'is too damn quick. I know what I'm feelin' when I feel it.

"Bella, I -"

"No!"

She hollers, slappin'er lil'hand over my mutterin' mouth, tryin'a keep me from tellin'er I love'er; 'at I'm in love with'er - cause I damn well do, an I damn well am.

"Don't say it."

.

.

* * *

**Hahahahahahahaaaaa! I couldn't not stop laughing, that's why this took so long. Was it even readable? LOL omg… I swear I'm not on crack.**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

_**Edward**_

_Don't say it?_

_Don't say it?_

"Well, why the hell not?" I fume, an'er flushed fore'ed furrah's.

Still snug'tween'er swelterin' thighs, I run my thumbs along'er scrunched up skin, tryin' ta smooth'er frown, a lil'hurt an'a whole lot carnfused when she swats my soothin' hand'way.

But'is what she spits out'er pretty, lil'mouth'at rips my achin' heart out.

"You think I don't know what this is? I know what this is!" Pushin' me'way, she wiggles out from'neath me, not botherin' ta cover up'em perfect, perky pillows.

"It's just a good fucking time, right?! I'm just one of your pretty, passing play-things, right?... Right?!"

'Stracted by'er full, frontal flash, I shake'em loose screws in my head, reachin' out'ta pull'er close.

But she swats me'way again.

"Fuck, Bella! Jee-sus, no! Why in the hell'd'you think'at? Huh? Jee-sus!" My mind's goin' crazy, not bein' able ta hold'er, to comfort'er. Is'all I wanted ta do; all I ever wanted ta do – from nah'til the end a ferever.

_Goddamn!_

"I'm sorry! I'm so fuckin' sorry fer sayin' the things I did. It'as stupid, real stupid; so, just forget it, n'kay? Cant'cha jus'forget it?"

I realize what I'm askin', I realize it ain't'at easy. And I'm'well'ware'at if these tables was turned, if I knew 'bout all'em men she may've been wit', I might be feelin' the same way. But my want fer'er trumped any jealousy I might'ave; I'd still wan'er.

I'll always wan'er.

Always.

At a loss, I watch as she picks up'er strewn clothes, pullin'em up an on, an I'm'is close ta jus'rippin'em righ-back off'er when she rushes out the goddamn tent.

"Bella, you better be gettin' back'ere, little girl." I holler, stormin' out, chasin' after'er.

"This ain'over!"

* * *

**What?! She can't just hand it all over in one night! What do you take'er for? Certainly not a pretty, passing play-thing... He's gonna have to work for it. And quite possibly dabble in some travel... *hint hint* ; ) And ya'll noticed he didn't put on any pants, right?...**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**Y'all's reviews are crackin me the hella up! Hahahahahaaa OMG… I can't even believe the ridiculousness coming out the tips of these fingers.**

* * *

_**Edward**_

Trippin'o'er'em gapin' groun'hog holes, I pull at my hangin' unders, mighty thankful I kept'em on while feedin'er my needy man meat.

"Bella, nah don'chu dare…"

_An she dared._

She damn dared ta duck an hide in'er friends neighborin' tent.

"Goddammit, woman!"

Dippin' in after'er, I find'er climbin'neath them damn covers tryin' ta hide.

Well… I ain't havin' it.

"Goddammit Bella, I wan'chu bearin' my babies, not actin' like one!"

Nah'at confession'ere stops'er cold, but wakes'er loud mouth friend in'a process.

_Well, shiyet._

"What the…" Wipin'is eyes'e scratches'is secreted serpent; only scurryin' once'e sees me; damn near neked's'at day I's born.

"Bella, why the hell am I waking to cowboy colossal's cock comin' at me?"

_Wha?!_

"Nah see'ere, boy!" I start, but Bella stops me.

"Shut it, Mike. He was just leaving, weren't you, Edward?"

Nostrils flarin', I shake my head at'ow thick'ers could be.

"Fine, I'll'eave."

"Good." 'Er smart mouth quips, an I turn back, fightin'at urge ta kiss'er, but damn well havin'at las'word.

"But'is here still ain'over."

* * *

**Sorry you guys, his twang kinda got away from me there... out of control, like whoa.**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;)**

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! You've got a couple more days to read, before voting begins! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta. Mistakes are my own.**

* * *

**And they're back... with the slightest little bit of normalcy. ; )**

* * *

_**Bella**_

The ride back to the ranch is incredibly uncomfortable.

And given The Duke's out of character silence, I was _for sure_ certain he had heard every last shameful shred of the shenanigans that took place in the heart of the camp last night.

Probably every last mid-coital cry at that.

I shudder at the thought.

"Ya know yer gon'hav'ta talk ta me sooner'er later, s'why not fore we get back, huh?"

All day long, it's been this way; him, quietly begging.

"Please Bella, jus'talk to me s'all I ask."

And me; completely ignoring his pathetic pleas.

"Please…"

Not even offering a galvanizing glare, I trot a head, hoping he'll keep his confessing cavity closed, and leave me the hell alone; which is thankfully what he does.

For the rest of the ride, I don't hear a peep, not from him, not from Mike, and certainly not from the distressed duke; poor man.

It's one thing to be proud of your son's daring endeavors.

A whole other to discern the display.

And we'd displayed plenty.

Plen-ty.

Not soon enough, we're moseyin' in with the setting sun; demounting, and putting away our haggard horses.

And I'm thankful that when I politely decline this evening's inedible entre – which is in fact mush - that Mike keeps his usually loud mouth shut.

Tight-lipped and tired, I trek to the guest house, him following close behind.

And when we're finally alone in the solid square of solitude, I don't have to tell him what's been weighing heavily on my mind.

"You've got ten to get packed, we're leaving."

* * *

**Oh, no! Skippin' town with no parting words? What will this estranged Edward do?**

**Hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? You do realize my baby 'In Mates' was birthed for the first round, right? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;) **

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! Voting has commenced! **

**Lastly, I'm looking for any fics where Bella is from the slums/poverty/wrong side of the tracks. Good one's where she MEETS Edward - please note the emphasis on the _meets._ He could be a mechanic, firefighter, cop - undercover or otherwise. Bottom line is I want her to be strong, yet unfortunate, and him to be blue collar. Think Fast and Furious with less racin' and more lovin'. And hey, if that happens to be yours, pimp- yo-self, by all means. Thanks!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, quotations etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

To say we were lucky to make the red-eye straight back to civilization would be an understatement.

It was nothing short of a goddamn miracle, and if I never see another cow again it will be all too soon.

"Cows are assholes," Mike casually states, adjusting in his uncomfortable, coach seat, and I nod.

_Yep._

"Yep."

"Like, just get the fuck out of the middle of the road, ya know?" he sighs loudly, and I continue to nod at his reserved rant, looking down at my mud covered Luckys…

_Yep._

"Yep."

Noticeably and not at all surprising, Mike's are spotless, and for some reason that absolutely annoys the shit out of me.

Of all the things, it makes me wonder…

_What the fuck was I doing?_

_Why the fuck wasn't I happy to be going home?_

_Home._

It wasn't where my heart is…that's why.

Besides Mike, I had nothing to go back to, just a third floor walk-up that needed to be torn down, and two dead-end jobs, where I busted my sore ass, just to make meaningless ends meet.

The allure of the city no longer allured me. The thrill of the search no longer thrilled because I had found.

I had found the place where I wanted, needed, was supposed to be – the person who I was supposed to be with.

And it wasn't Mike, it wasn't here – two thousand feet and climbing.

Saddened and dismayed by the rash choice I made, I recline, pulling the silky, black mask over my melancholy eyes, and turn away from Mike's unmerited mumbling

"Fucking cows."

* * *

So, I'm entering another contest...**!**

**TwiHEAcontest** - search under 'author', if you'd like to read some super sweet stories! HEA - (Happily Ever After) - js, you never know.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, quotations etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta.**

* * *

_**Bella**_

Two days.

Only two days of breathing in this festering filth, this, this pungent pollution.

And I was suffocating.

Dying.

I could feel it.

In my bones, my blood, but mostly…my battered heart.

It missed the fresh air, missed the wide, open space.

It missed…him.

Cruelly.

Carelessly.

Completely.

"So my cousin's back in town, wondered if you wanna hang out, said he'd comb your curls this time, just lend'em a brush?" Mike shrugs, plopping down on the couch beside me. "Whatever the fuck that means."

_What fresh hell?_

"What?" I ask, taking a break from the perpetual perusal of ticket prices – still, and forever and always unable to afford any of them.

"I don't know, it's Eric; he says things."

I'm glad that Mike's preoccupied; flipping through free cable when I realize what his cousin Eric was talking about.

"Right."

_Damn devil drink!_

"You do remember what happened last time he was in town, right?"

Mike nods, somberly sighing.

"We wound up in bumfuck, _you _barely making it out alive, and _me_…"

Well.

I just stopped there, not really knowing what to say, not wanting to admit I was just another notched cliché.

"No, I don't want to _hang out._ Can't anyway, I gotta work. I always gotta work."

And work, I did.

I worked to get off the couch, take a shower, get dressed and step out the door.

It felt like a goddamn third job, just _working_ it down 5th, pulling open the heavy, glass door to Uley's diner, and picking up and tying on the adipose adorned apron.

Splotched parchment and pen in hand, I _worked _myself over to my first customer of the night, "Morning, my name's Bella. What can I getcha?" I robotically ramble, briefly looking up to catch the copper-colored coif underneath the edge of a familiar cowboy hat, quite sure the foggy fumes had gone straight to my head.

"Jus'yous all...jus'you."

* * *

Maybe just one more chap, then I'm completing this crazy crack fic!

**TwiHEAcontest - **search under 'author', if you'd like to read some super sweet stories!

**tasteoftheforbiddenii** - one word...and be sure to spread the word!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, quotations etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta.**

* * *

**So, this is the end... Can't wait to see ya'lls reactions. :D**

* * *

_**Bella**_

It didn't take much to convince me to quit my job on the spot, walk out of that dirty diner, and back down the street, where I took him home.

_Home._

Wherever he was.

Stepping through the door, we ignored Mike's open-mouth amazement, latching on with our own, meeting lips, teeth, and tongue.

They'd missed one another.

_And God, how I missed him!_

Every. Last. Inch.

_Unf!_

"Our there-flight's leavin' in a hour." He mumbles, not stopping me from pushing him into my room, popping the button on his rowdy Wranglers, pushing them and his bulging briefs down to his ankles.

"I'll be quick, real fuckin' quick." I promise, knowing for a fact that once he filled me up and watched me go, I'd come like…like…

I don't know!

I can't even think!

"Ah Bella, fuck." He moans as I bunch my skirt around my waist, leaning back on the bed to pull my panties to the side.

"Yeah, that's it Edward, fuck me." I mewl, as he pushes in, pulling us up further onto the bed.

I wiggle, feeling him long and hard, nestled deep inside of me, while he lifts my top, pulling down my bra, and exposing my breasts before raising my hands to the headboard.

"Hold on'nere, girl, I'm gon' wanna see'em pretty titties."

Moaning out, I do as he says, having missed that dirty, dominating dictation.

And once I've got a good grip, he starts to move.

Pumping his hips, snarling as skin slaps against wet skin.

So wet!

And as promised, I come quickly, encouraged by his animalistic acoustics.

Watching him get off is just as good as he throws his head back, growling out his praise for my _pretty, pink pussy._

_Damn._

This man…

His mouth...

Just…

_Damn._

Not even packing a bag, I hold Edward's hand as he leads me back out, tilting his hat at a still-gaping Mike before we walk out the door to catch a cab.

And the rest is really all a blur.

The plane ride.

His mother's passionately tearful welcome.

The proposal.

…yeah.

"Well, would ya look at that…" Mike mumbles, spanning his snazzy suit covered arms and spinning in place. "I thought for sure we'd burst into flames."

Both of us quirking an ornery smirk, I playfully punch him in the shoulder, steering clear of the pinned-on primrose.

He was right.

Knowing us, we could've caught this little, white chapel on fire, and burned both church and steeple to the graveled ground.

"But in all seriousness though," he assures, grabbing my shaking hands, spanning _my_ arms to look me over, and then straight in the eye. "You look beautiful, Bella, really beautiful."

I blush because it's so unlike him to be so sweet.

"And that raunchy rancher is straight up gonna shit."

Now, that's more like it.

With a warning knock, I shoo Mike out to the alter, scurrying myself to meet The Duke at the closed cathedral doors.

As the music changes, Edward's father takes my arm in his, patting my hand before kissing me on the cheek and walking me down the aisle, where promises are passionately professed, a concluding kiss seals the life-long deal.

I'm blissfully happier than I've ever been, as we dance and drink and laugh and sing into the star-lit sky, until we're settling down and turnin' in - as The Duke would surely slur – not even making it to our already-christened bed before my husband's bent me over, and buried himself deep, breathing his love for me on the snug of my ear.

"I love you, pretty girl, at soppy suck of'at snatch. Fuck," he curses, grunting with every thrust. And I come, clamping down around his jack hammer of a cock.

"Oh, fuck!"

"Yeah girl, go'on take'at, fuck, you take'at Eddie Jr. jizz."

_What?!_

* * *

I wish I could see your faces, I truly do. LOL

There may be an epi, idk, but I am completing it as is for now... Thanks for following me on this crazy journey. Who knew it was so exhausting to try and be funny, huh?! I hope I gave you all a good laugh, god knows I had a few. Thanks so much for reading, reviewing! I love you all forever and always!

**TwiHEAcontest - **search under 'author', if you'd like to read some super sweet stories!

**tasteoftheforbiddenii** - one word...and be sure to spread the word!


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, quotations etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**No Beta.**

* * *

So, I wrote an epi... :D Short and sweet, and I'm sealin' it up!

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Nana! Nana!"

I hear him before I can see him.

The glint in his gleaming green eyes and that precious head full of penny-pigmented hair.

The spitting image of his gran-pappy.

"Tell me 'gain how yous knocked Pappy inta the crick! Please! Please! Please, Nana!"

With a bursting belly laugh, he doubles over.

"'Ee fell straight in an' on his hiney, didn'ee?"

He squeals just like one of his prized pet pigs.

Such a ham, this little one.

"Well, love, you just told it. I knocked pappy into the _creek…" –_I will get him to say it right at least once before I die_ – "…_and he fell straight in and on his hiney!"

I poke his potbelly and he folds, sounding out another earful of that joyful laughter.

That's exactly how it happened.

And he still looks just as good, shirtless and soaking in sweat, standing in the setting summer sun, now silver as his father the first day I met him.

"Papa Duke said yous ran 'round wit yer pants off. Is at true? Did you run 'round wit yer pants off, Nana?"

_If he's not already dead, I'm gonna kill 'em._

"Did he, now?"

Peter nods, a sinfully sly smile spreading across his fetching face.

"Well, you shouldn't listen to anything Papa Duke says." I tell him, leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"He's old and confused."

Which he is.

Peter giggles.

"Doesn't know what he's talking about."

Which he doesn't.

Suffered an apparent stroke a few years back, but he's fine.

We still can't tell a difference.

Laughing loudly, Peter snorts, taking after his mother Kate, who takes after me.

And he runs off to help his proud pappy out in the field.

I watch as Edward hands him the reins, teaching him how to hand the horse a treat, and then take him around for a trot.

And I fall in love with him all over again.

I always fall in love with him all over again.

Always.

Forever.

Every damn blessed day.

"Hey Mama."

Looking over, I squint out the shimmer of long, blonde hair shining in the sun.

_Kate._

My only girl in a litter of four.

The only one who ended up staying close to home.

"What, Baby?"

I ask, placing a piece of wildly whipping hair behind her ear.

"If Daddy hadn't've went after you, do you think you would've come back for him?"

I smile.

"Of course I would've, Baby."

Of course I would have.

Always.

* * *

The end for reals. I mean it.

:D Thank you all for reading and reviewing! You all seemed to enjoy it and I know I certainly enjoyed you!


End file.
